Jeffrey Goes to School With His Tape Recorder Am I the next Tom Green? Or maybe even the next Barry Lakins (Adam Sandler)? These recordings may prove it. These are MP3s of one audio cassette I brought to school, divided into sections. I also wrote down the dialogue if it's hard to hear. And don't be scared by the names... I just used their names to tell them apart. 4-6-01_01.mp3 I had a haircut yesterday, and hadn't shown anyone. This was a bit cut off. Me: It was raining last night, and so it's gonna be wetter than I hoped. Today I'm gonna be checking out the expressions of people's faces once I take off my hat and show them that I'm rather bald. 4-6-01_02.mp3 This was actually recorded 3rd period. Some jerk recorded over the beginning. Me: Hey! Blake J: You're recording over valuable-- Me: HEY! 4-6-01_03.mp3 I went to the library and met Steve. Me: I'm in the midst of, uh, Steve Caires right now, and... if you hear, uh, stupid techno music in the background it's because he's, uh, listening to it rather loudly. I think that he hasn't noticed anything weird about my hair so far, so -- *lifts hat* Anyway, um, he's cracking up. What do you have to say? Steve: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Me: All right, that's good. More later! 4-6-01_04.mp3 I walked down the hall with Steve. Me: Say that again, plase? Steve: Okay. You know how you have that hat that says "resist drugs and violence--" Me: Uh, you called it a shirt (previously). Why'd you call it a shirt... Steve: I mean a hat, it's all the same. Me: It's not the same, I [do not wear] shirts on my head. Steve: I can just image you going around, you know, with a shirt on your head... Me: That would be fun. You might hear some shuffling noises I recorded last night... Steve: You know, I don't know what you're going to use that tape for, but whatever it is, it scares me. 4-6-01_05.mp3 More walking down the hall with Steve... Me: I have to re-record anything funny that we say during the day. Steve: That makes it sound all, um, scripted. Me: It's not scripted, my life is not scripted. 4-6-01_06.mp3 More walking down the hall with Steve... Me: No, I didn't get that, say that again. Steve: If you have to keep recording things that people say and asking them to repeat it again, it sounds stupid. Me: ...Yes. 4-6-01_07.mp3 The first period bell rang. Me: That's the sound of the first period starting bell. We've got five minutes to get to class, or we'll be executed. Say hello, Kevin! Kevin K: Hello... Me: Thank you, Kevin! *yells for some reason* 4-6-01_08.mp3 I walked into my first period class, Geometry. Me: Yes. I-brought-a-tape-recorder-to-school, and-it-is-very-fun. Jeff B: You can get about 97 hours-- (cut off) Me: I didn't record that... *whacks tape recorder repeatedly* Stupid thing, record! It's not recording. Record! Record! Record! Record! What's wrong with this thing? Oh! It wasn't on... oh, there we go. James P: What's the point of recording? Me: The point of recording? James P: The point of recording you talking. Me: The point of recording me talking is, um... haven't you ever seen that, like, "American High" documentary where it shows all those kids doing useless things for, like, 4 hours? James P: No. Me: Oh, well, it's pretty heartwarming, just to see, like, stupid kids with ADD, like, jump around and yell about taking drugs. James P: Do you have ADD? Me: No, no. So I guess I wouldn't belong on the show because I don't have ADD and I don't live in some stupid preppy college in, uh, Michigan, or whatever. Yes. Now, here's some generic classical music. *holds recorder up to Mr. Gustin's iMac* Okay, that's good enough. 4-6-01_09.mp3 Brandon S sat down. Me: Well, what do you know! Brandon's here today, and he's, uh, going to give us a little speech on, uh-- Brandon S: *smacks tape recorder* Me: Hey! He's going to give us a little speech on, uh-- Brandon S: *smacks tape recorder* Me: Wait! Ah! *bell rings* Me: That's the second bell. Well, how's it going, Chris? Howdy-do! *lifts hat* Chris D: Nice haircut. Me: Yes, thank you. I... *Felix enters* oh, here's Felix! Whoa! He brought a video camera when I brougt a tape recorder, what coincidence is that? That's amazing! We were also born on the same day, oh ho ho! Oh no no no no, don't record me, no, no! 4-6-01_10.mp3 I found out why he brought his video camera. Me: Ah, he brought his camera for a drama project! That's... a dumb idea. Uh... 4-6-01_11.mp3 I boasted that I've found a trigonometry problem out. Yay. Felix: 9, 2, 9, 9, 9... Mr. Gustin: Round it off. Felix: What? Alia H: How? Me: I got it. I got it! I think I got it! Hello! Yes! That's exactly what I got. Woo! 4-6-01_12.mp3 A random recording. Mr. Gustin: Can anyone tell me what the sine of 30 degrees is? Me: .5! Alia H: .5. Felix: Nine! *class moans* Me: .5! Sine of 30 degrees is .5. Over. 4-6-01_13.mp3 I was a little dazed, or something... Me: It is silly, Felix... so silly that I'm recording you right now... say something funny. Felix: Go to sleep. Me: I can't go to sleep. Mr. Gustin: Now here's a typical mistake I don't want you to make. On your calculators, I see this... 4-6-01_14.mp3 Felix went crazy. Mr. Gustin: Monday we will... Felix: DON'T EAT THE CHILDREN, THEY AREN'T TASTY ANYMORE!! NAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!! 4-6-01_15.mp3 Felix went "Crazy." *part of "Crazy" by Britney Spears, being recorded over* Me: Say that again. Felix: CRAYYYZYYY, I JUST CAN'T SLEEP, DUH DUH DUH DUH... Me: Huh. Huh huh. Huh. Huh. 4-6-01_16.mp3 STARING CONTEST! ALIA VS FELIX! FIGHT! Me: C'mon. Staring contest. *Jeff B interferes* Brandon S: You can't do that, that's outside irritations! Me: Yes. Brandon S: That's cheating Me: Yes. Felix: Alia, I haven't lost one yet, so... Brandon S: Yes you have. Jeff B: Yes you have. Felix: 3, 2, 1, go. *Brandon S interferes* Alia H: No outside irritations? *Jeff B snaps* Me: It's love at first sight. Mr. Gustin: Jeffrey? Me: What? Mr. Gustin: Lemme do that again. Jeff? Me: I'm not... Jeff! Felix: That was a wink! Mr. Gustin: Jeff, you're losting points... Me: *fanfare* Felix: I shut my eyes! I didn't blink, I shut my eyes! 4-6-01_17.mp3 Conversation with Jeff B about my hair, I believe. Me: I need a change in my lifestyle... yes, it's very different. But I'll probably wear the hat until it gets just a bit longer. Alia H: *screams* Courtney W: *screams* Me: *turns around, facing computer screen* Aah, no! It's the standards! (a list of guidelines for our education) 4-6-01_17.mp3 Conversation with Jeff B about my hair, I believe. Me: I need a change in my lifestyle... yes, it's very different. But I'll probably wear the hat until it gets just a bit longer. Alia H: *screams* Courtney W: *screams* Me: *turns around, facing computer screen* Aah, no! It's the standards! (a list of guidelines for our education) 4-6-01_18.mp3 Conversation with Jeff B about my hair, I believe. Me: I need a change in my lifestyle... yes, it's very different. But I'll probably wear the hat until it gets just a bit longer. Alia H: *screams* Courtney W: *screams* Me: *turns around, facing computer screen* Aah, no! It's the standards! (a list of guidelines for our education) 4-6-01_19.mp3 Talking to myself. Me: I don't plan to do anything productive today! 4-6-01_20.mp3 I have too much free time, and this proves it... Me: Hey Felix! Felix. Do you know what I found? Alia H: "Hey Felix!" Me: Felix! Felix! Alia H: "Hey Felix!" Me: Hey Felix! Alia H: "Hey Felix!" Me: Hey Felix! Alia H: "Heeeeey, Felix!" Me: I found that the cosine of the tangent of the sine of the cosine of the tangent of the sine of the cosine of the tangent of the sine of the cosine of the sine of the cosine of 96 is 1. 4-6-01_21.mp3 Felix stole my tape recorder. I don't know where this was recorded. Felix: Helloooo? Helloooo? DO YOU THINK MISTER HAVANA CUBA MAN IS SEXY? YES YOU DO! YES YOU DO! YOU THINK I'M SO SEXY! C'MON, FEEL MY SEXY BODY! OH YES, OH YES, THAT'S THE WAY, OH YEAH! Me: Yes. Don't mess with my tape. Huh huh huh. This is stupid. All right. This won't be the last time that I say that today. 4-6-01_22.mp3 I was singing to myself. Me: You drive me crazy, I just can't eat... Uh oh! duh duh duh... 4-6-01_23.mp3 Mr. Gustin almost took this away. How DARE he. Brandon S: Life during war time... Alia H: Hey, stop that. Me: Huh, huh. I actually have "Crazy" on this tape. I think I'm recording over my sister's old stuff. Hi, Mr. Gustin. Mr. Gustin: That's gonna go to the office. Me: Oh. 4-6-01_24.mp3 Felix insulted me and Alia asked a personal question. Me: What did you call me? Felix: Jeffrey did it all for the nookie... Alia H: Hey, Jeffrey! Me: Yes? Alia H: Are you and your girlfriend going out... 4-6-01_25.mp3 First period ended. Me: Well, that signifies the end of third period! I like saying "signify," I think I said it three times already-- *crack* Whoa, that must've broken the thing... Well. There's lots of chaos right now, and I'm trying to get my stuff all together with, like, with one hand. I don't think you'll mind if I just turn this off for a sec and pack my stuff up. 4-6-01_26.mp3 I talked to Brandon S, who brought a rubber duck to school. Me: Huh huh! Say that again! Huh huh! Brandon S: Ahoy, matey. Me: What's his name? Mehdi the duck? Brandon S: Uh, yeah, I'd rather not call him Mehdi. Me: Oh, I thought you said "Mehdi." (another kid at school) That'd be funny if Mehdi named a duck after him... or something... that's a nice duck. Goodbye. 4-6-01_27.mp3 I walked to the Gym. Me: My next period is P.E., but I doubt that I'll be able to get any good recordings since this will be in my locker. But if this is stolen, then... God damn you all. 4-6-01_28.mp3 Still walking to the Gym.... Me: *lifts hat* Scream for the camera, Brownstein! Jesse B: Aah! Me: Thank you! 4-6-01_29.mp3 I arrived in the locker room. Me: Ben! Is it true that you sexually molested the rest of your family? Ben M: No. Me: Oh. 4-6-01_30.mp3 More locker room antics. Me: Hey! David! How's it going? David Y: Hi... Me: How do you like my haircut? *lifts hat* David Y: It looks strange... Me: Thank you! 4-6-01_31.mp3 More locker room antics. Me: Hey hey hey! Talk to me, Max, talk to me! Woo! Max K: What the fuck is this? Me: This is my new haircut! How's it look? *lifts hat* Max K: Like a fucking Nazi. Me: Heh heh heh... he called me a skinhead. I'm having so much fun with this tape recorder. Hi, Eric. Eric R: FUCK YOU. Me: HA HA HA HA 4-6-01_32.mp3 I walked out of the locker room. Me: You see, P.E. is the time where we can all act like complete idiots. 4-6-01_33.mp3 I walked into the gym. Me: Hi, guys! You're on tape! Solomon Y: "Hi, guys! You're on tape!" Evan C: Make me talk really fast. Me: I actually can, hold on a sec. Solomon Y: "I actually can, hold on a sec." Me: Yay. Solomon Y: "Yay." Me: Heh heh! 4-6-01_34.mp3 I walked around the gym. Me: What's wrong, Chris? Solomon Y: "What's wrong, Chris?" Chris D: Nothing. Me: Oh, well then why are you all delirious, you're just like this all the time? Solomon Y: "Oh, well then why are you all delirious, you're just like this all the time?" Chris D: No, it's 'cause I ran so hard yesterday. Me: Wow, I've got an echo. Solomon Y: "Wow, I've got an echo." Me: Solomon's the coolest! Solomon Y: "Solomon's the coolest!" Me: Hooray. Solomon Y: "Hooray." 4-6-01_35.mp3 More walking around the gym. Evan C: I'll wear your skirt. Solomon Y: What? Me: This just in! Annie wants to wear Chris's sweatshirt. Solomon Y: No, his skirt! Me: Oh, skirt! He's not wearing a skirt. This is really fun. And it's also really scary when I go like this. *lifts hat* Chris D: *gasps* Me: Wait! Gasp again! Gasp again for the tape! Chris D: *gasps* Me: Oh yeah, good. Woo! 4-6-01_36.mp3 I walked to the freshmen where they were showing their bikes. Me: I'm bored. Let's talk to Billy. Oooh! Looks like Billy's brought a bike, and so has Ben! Let's go check out the wonderful bikes with the freshmen! Hi guys, you're on tape again! Hello again, David. Hi, Ben! Ben M: Hello. Me: Hi. How do you like this new haircut I have? *lifts hat* Ben M: It's very interesting. Me: Thank you. Let's see. Looks like the guy's trying to take a... oh. Billy! Stop trying to run away, Billy! 4-6-01_37.mp3 More freshmen. Me: This'll probably get stolen by the end of the day. What do you think? Billy H: ... Me: Yep, me too. All right, I've got to go back to the sophomore class now... class of 2004, uugh... 4-6-01_38.mp3 I met Simeon J. Me: Simeon! Just the man I was... fearing. What do you have to say to the camera, Simeon? Simeon J: All your base belong to me! Me: That's not what... aagh! Well now, what's this do to you? *lifts hat* Simeon J: AAGH! Heh heh, do that again! Me: See, as you can hear, that was a regular Simeon scream. My hair is very scary to people today. Woo! Simeon J: That was supposed to be a Homer scream! Me: A Homer scream? No no no... he screams like-- Simeon J: AAH! Me: He screams, well, he screams like that... Simeon J: AAH! Me: No, that's not... that's bad. 4-6-01_39.mp3 I went back to the sophomores. Me: I just missed Solomon breakdancing. Yes. Solomon Y: What? Me: I'm going to be speaking out loud to myself, well, not really to myself, but to my tape *yells for some reason* today... 4-6-01_40.mp3 I was asked why I'm doing this. Me: I'm doing it because I got the inspiration from this one documentary thing a few days ago. I also learned a few months ago in this stupid career test that I would be the best as a documentary producer. It's like, you know, do you enjoy working with people, no, do you like doing this? Do you like doing that? And it pinpointed that I would enjoy being a documentary producer. It's kinda stupid. Solomon Y: Those things are kind of inaccurate. Me: Well, yeah. But second, it said that I should be a good web site designer, so... Evan C: You're asked too many questions, you confuse yourself. Me: Yup. 4-6-01_41.mp3 I interviewed some freshmen about their bikes. Me: This isn't the Antiques Bike Show! What the hell is this? Hello! ... Wow! Is your bike really that good? ...Well, what is that, is that, like, a pipe that you can, like, hit people over the head with? *yells for some reason* What is it? Oh... it's a chiro-- what? Ben M: Tire pump. Me: Tire pump. Tire pump. Where's your water bottle go? 4-6-01_42.mp3 The freshmen asked me what this was for, and Simeon came up to me. Me: Um, what class is this for? This class is for... First-Class Jeffrey-...dom. Yeah. And actually, it's to annoy people. Oh, here's another sophomore. Simeon J: Move 'zig', move 'zig'... Me: Ah, shut up. All right, we're going to go back to our... oh look, there's Ms. Durkin! Simeon J: Are you doing this for a newspaper or something? Me: What? No, I'm not doing this for a newspaper! I'm probably just doing it for, like, the internet or something... Simeon J: Oh, that would be cool! I just thought of that! Me: Well, yeah, but... no. Ms. Durkin: What's this? Me: This is what they call a tape recorder. Ms. Durkin: Very nice. Me: Thank you. Ms. Durkin: Okay. Me: Woo! 4-6-01_43.mp3 We walked into the weight room, and I talked to Simeon more. I was really, really stupid. Me: Well, I'm taping people talk. And then I'm gonna, like, rewind it and listen to it, and laugh at how stupid everyone is, including me. Simeon J: Dude, why did you shave your head? Me: ...My head is not shaved, all right? It was razored! And besides, it was done by a gay guy, so he did a really good job. Do you know what was kinda cool? The guy, when he was shaving my head yesterday, he left my bangs for last, and so it looked really dumb... huh huh... but I tipped him anyway. 4-6-01_44.mp3 No comment... Me: Yes, this would be... oh, man. 4-6-01_45.mp3 I listened to the people in the weight room. Me: The next tape I will be releasing will be called "Sounds of the Weight Room." How's it going? Looks like you're climing a pretty pre-cip-i-tous hill right there, on your StairMaster, aren't you, Dan? Dan S: Meh. Me: Yes! Oh no, dumb, stupid generic music. 4-6-01_46.mp3 I commented on kids trying to find a pop station on the radio in the weight room. Me: Stupid kids are surfing the radio, trying to find a cool song. They should just listen to me sing. *sings* ...This is hard. 4-6-01_47.mp3 The kids turned to a classical station, and I commented on people misusing exercise equipment. Me: This is stupid. Classical music. Woo! Am I the only one who likes classical music? Stupid energy wasters, hold on. 4-6-01_48.mp3 I tried using a StairMaster, but the steps sank. Me: Oh my God! I'm too heavy! Aah, this is dumb. 4-6-01_49.mp3 I went on to a "Euroslide" mat. Me: Time for some Euroslidin'! That didn't work! Woo! 4-6-01_50.mp3 I commented on the classical music. Me: This is nice music but no one else appreciates it. Hmm. 4-6-01_51.mp3 I point out some writing on a board. Announcer: Lowest test scores are one fourth more... Me: Oh no, we're not getting good test scores! Now look at this, you probably can't hear this, but written down are the Chinese and Japanese names of both me, Evan Clover and Solomon Young, two other Asian-esque people at this school. Not that I'm Asian, but I can write my name in Japanese anyway! I'm really bored! Oh, time's up! Woo! This'll probably improve my public speaking skills. My fists are bleeding because of punching the punching bag too much. Ugh. 4-6-01_52.mp3 Some idiot said the rain is acid rain. Me: This just in: we might be running in acid rain. *whistles* 4-6-01_53.mp3 I started walking around the track. Me: I have no idea why we're walking in circles. We're not even getting any exercise out of it. This is stupid. 4-6-01_54.mp3 I finished running. Me: Running is very fun. *pants* Hi, Nat! Hello! Hello? Max K: I'll say something! Me: All right, but don't touch it. You don't have to touch it. Nat F: I'll say something! Me: Uh, just say something. Max K: I have no COMMENT, PALESTINE... GRANDMA!!! Nat F: VA'FLA! AY! Me: Oh. More! More! Nat F: GRANDMA! Me: I'm gonna put this on the internet, so... Max K: GRANDMA!!! Nat F: SAF'TA! Max K: ALLAH! Me: That's-- *laughs* 4-6-01_55.mp3 I walked to the locker room. Me: Liroooon! Liron, Liron, Liron! Liron Y: Jeffrey Faden! Me: That's right! Say something. Liron Y: Cheese. Me: Cheeeeeese! Do you want me to sing about cheese? Liron Y: No. Me: Oh, okay. I'm going to go dress up right now, because I feel stupid in these clothes. What do you have to say? Eric R: FUCK OFF. Me: HA HA HA HA HA HA 4-6-01_56.mp3 I walked away from the Gym. Me: I already have a few pages about me having sexual relations with the same sex. That's nothing new! Isn't that right, Nat? Wouldn't you know about that, Nat? Nat F: I don't know, Jeff. Me: Okay. Aaron S: What the hell are you doing? Me: I'm recording stuff. Duh. Aaron S: That's so stupid. Me: Well, what am I supposed to do with these things? Aaron S: What are you recording? Me: What does it sound like I'm recording? Aaron S: Stupid shit. Me: Yeah, otherwise known as me! Yup! My voice! 4-6-01_57.mp3 I talked to Max about putting this on the internet. Heh, seems I did put it up. Me: Can you shut up? Or I will. Max K: Okay, Jeff. Me: Thank you. Well then, second period is over! Time for break, and probably I can find James! Uh oh. 4-6-01_58.mp3 More talking to Max. Me: Nat! Nat! Come back to me, Nat! You know, Max, if I do put this on the internet, I'll be making more of a fool of me than anyone else. Max K: I don't care. Me: Oh, you don't? Yeah, I know! 4-6-01_59.mp3 I met up with Steve and Kevin. Me: Hey-hey! It's me, the bald guy! Woo! This just in, Kevin wants to take morphine, just as long as it's prescribed! This is so fun! Steve: HEROIN! Me: Eveyone thinks I'm a complete moron! Don't you? Steve: HEROIN! Me: Anyway... Kevin K: If I had cancer, and I got a prescription, I would smoke marijuana, but only under those circumstances. Steve: WEEEEED! Me: I'd probably just inhale asbestos to smoke weed... yeah. No, wait, I didn't say that! Hey, you guys! 4-6-01_60.mp3 Steve went to get noodles. Kevin K: Okay. Me: Whadya wha? Huh? Steve: Yeah, all right. I'm gonna get some noodles. 4-6-01_61.mp3 Steve came back with the noodles. Me: Hi, hi, hi! Steve: It says "BAM" on that trash can, right? Me: "BAM?" Oh yeah, it does. Steve: But I went by, and I thought it said "SPAM." Me: Oh, cool! Steve: Considering I just saw the Monty Python AAAAALL WEEKEND LONG. Me: Yup, really? Wow. Steve: Weed. Me: Everyone keeps talking about Monty Python. Steve: Weed. Me: Like, sit on my face, (Steve: "Weed...") and tell me that you love me... (Steve: "Weed...") Weed. All right, well, I'm going to go over there. 4-6-01_62.mp3 I was in line for donuts. Me: Dear Diary, I am on line for some donuts. Someone: Fuck you. Me: HA HA! That's the fifth "fuck you" I've got today! Omid: GLAVEN!! GLAVEN!! Me: Oh my God! Well, that's Omid! Omid, do some other catchphrases. Omid: Like what? Me: Like, uh, "Racist Bassist" or something. Omid: RACIST BASSIST NURRRD! Me: Yeah, that's exactly Omid, right that. Omid: Va'fla! Don't suck a va'fla! Me: Now call me such a *clicks tongue*. Omid: You know, Jeff, you always are such a *clicks tongue*. Me: Yeah, exactly! Woo! 4-6-01_63.mp3 Omid entertained me more. Me: Oh my God. Omid: Feffrey Jaden! Jeffrey Faden! Me: That's it, exactly. Don't block the line. 4-6-01_64.mp3 I found they didn't have donuts left. Me: Oh no, they don't have any donuts left. What do you think about the lack of donuts, Peter? Peter M: I don't know. Me: Oh yeah, all right. ...Um... all right. 4-6-01_65.mp3 I ordered cookies. Me: Hi! I'd like two cookies. That's a dollar, right? Yes! Unfortunately, I only have a five dollar bill and two quarters, so... yes. Okay. Thank you. Lady: One dollar out of five! Me: Yes! 4-6-01_66.mp3 I met 80's Boy. Me: Hey, 80's! I copied your idea and I brought my tape recorder to school! 80's Boy: You son of a...! Me: Yeah! This is so cool! I'm going around and I'm recording people, and they're all saying "fuck you!" Have you gotten that? Did you get that when you brought your thing to school? 80's Boy: Uh, yeah, I got that a lot. Me: Cool. I'm gonna go eat these cookies and do other things. 80's Boy: Yeah, what are you going to do? Me: Computer lab. Just like any other "nurrrd!" Yeah, that's right. Bye bye then. 80's Boy: Bye bye. 4-6-01_67.mp3 I met Chris R. Me: It's going good, Chris! It's a beautiful day out today! What do you think? Chris R: Uh... I think you're right! Me: *unintelligible* I can't go in there, I'm eating cookies. Hi, Sam! Sam M: Hi, Jeff! Chris R: Is that, like, a real tape? Me: Yep! A real tape! Tape tape! I'm taping over my sister's old pop songs, like "Crazy" and "Bye Bye Bye." Chris R: Hey, guess what! I can import audio into my computer. Anything that you can hook your headphone up to, Me: Me too!. Chris R: I can import it into my computer. Me: Well yeah, me too, I can do that. I'm the best. 4-6-01_68.mp3 I met Steve again. Me: Can I see if Vlad's in there? Steve: Yeah, this guy needs to get some shit from him. Me: Oh, that sounds like a good idea! Yup! Vladimir's in there! Yup! Good job. 4-6-01_69.mp3 We walked into the computer lab. Steve: BEEF. It's what's for breakfast. AAH, my throat! Shit! Ow! Me: Ha ha! Steve: Wait, did you get that, too? Me: Yeah. Quit spitting noodles. Steve: I'm not spitting noodles. You're not making sound clips, are you? Me: Yes I am, actually. I'm gonna put them all on the internet. Steve: You know, you'll have Thoughts From Hell, and you can click on something and it'll say it... Me: THOUGHTS FROM HELL!!! YAY!!! No, not that... Steve: So if I just went like "PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS" you might put that on when it said "pants?" Me: Perhaps. Steve: Hey, how about *SPLOIT*? Do you have that? Me: Oh yeah, I do! That's in the list of Frequently Mentioned Stuff. Steve: Yeah, I know, but is it a sound? Do you have the sound of *SPLOIT*? Me: Yes, I do! Steve: Do you have me going *SPLOIT*? Me: Mm-mm. Steve: ft ft ft ft *SPLOIT* Me: There you go! 4-6-01_70.mp3 Uh... Me: *unintelligible* 4-6-01_71.mp3 I met James. Me: Jaaaames! Hey-hey! How's it goin'? James: I hate you, Jeff. Me: Heh heh! I hate you too, James. Excuse me, I'm sorry. Anyway... James: What do you want? Me: *lifts hat* Isn't that pretty scary right there? I had to talk to James. Those look like good little headphone cover things. 4-6-01_72.mp3 James unzipped his binder. Me: What have I taped so far? Well, I'd play it back for everyone, but it's already on here. I'll show you, hold on a sec. James: *zipper noise* What do you want? Me: That was the sound of him unzipping his pants. Whoa! Cool. 4-6-01_73.mp3 I walked out of the library to my next class. Me: It was not a good day to bring my tape recorder to school. I feel so dumb today. James: Are you recording? Me: Yes, I am recording. Come on, just say something generic and you won't sound like a moron. Hello! Blake J: Hey, at lunch, can you help me scan an image and email it? Me: Sure. Well... James: Winners don't use drugs! Blake J: I just need someone to show me how to do it. Me: *lifts hat* Sure thing. Sorry, I like saluting people with my new haircut. It's pretty cool. Ha ha! James: That's a guy who plays Marvel VS. Capcom. Me: Yup. James: Wait! Me: What? James: Don't record what I'm saying. Me: Okay! James: I hate you, Jeff. Me: Whoa, oh man, I wish I could tape record this picture, it's just really funny. (It's a picture of a half of a fat kid whose bottom half is replaced with a lit cigarette.) James: I'll be the picture, all right? Me: Okay. James: *mumbles* Me: Well, that was good! Woo! 4-6-01_74.mp3 I entered my 3rd period class, Biology. Me: "Woo" after everything I say. Woo! Here's my impersonation of Madame Quinby (my French teacher). "Atuiser." 4-6-01_75.mp3 I talked with Blake J. Me: Hi there. I'm back with... stuff. Blake J: You know, the big Balbowski's (sp?) kinda like an Olympic swimmer. The harder the stroke, the faster the finish. Me: Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Now, say something about Transformers. Blake J: *sings* Transformers, more than meets the eye... Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of... the Decepticons! Me: My school is the greatest. More to come soon...