PLAN FOR TEH DAY:
2:20 - James leaves school for track meat.
2:21 - Without
James to save him, Jeff is prone to attacks by angry anti-pants activists. *
2:28 - James
arrives at San Rafael High School, trips going in.
2:30 - 10 minutes
into 7th period, Steve falls asleep (and during jazz band, too).
2:31 - Jeff
is lynched, strangled by his own pants legs, and displayed on a tree by shorts-wearers.
2:50 - Felix
hooks up with a T.A. somewhere and gets really drunk.
2:50 - Bell
rings, Steve still doesn't wake up.
3:15 - James
begins running mile at the track meet.
3:16 - Felix hits a blooper to shallow left-center
field and makes it to first base. **
3:17 - The ball is bobbled, and Felix makes
it to second with a double!
3:19:59 - James FINISHES, breaking his 5:00
mile, and celebrates.
3:20 - Felix contemplates stealing third base...
3:21 - James, celebrating, goes into DDR dance.
3:21:05 - James declared Universally Gay by
Szabo and Sos. ***
3:21:06 - Felix makes his move and goes for
third!
3:22 - Steve poked by trombonist coming into
band room after school.
3:23 - Felix slides into third base just BARELY!
3:24 - Jeff's body makes its 31st rotation.
3:27 - Felix, during throes of ecstacy (both
kinds), contemplates stealing home.
3:26 - Steve poked again.
3:27 - Felix starts to steal as Billy hits
a sacrifice fly ball.
3:28 - Felix halfway home as the ball is still
airborne, goes back to 3rd to tag up.
3:28:30 - Ball is caught, Felix tags up and
heads home...
3:29 - Steve pronounced dead at 3:29 PM.
3:29 - Max Caires (in Steve's dream) takes
out some guy's legs with a crowbar. ****
3:29 - Jeff's body hit with egg.
3:30 - SAFE!!!
TA brought to gut-wrenching climax, spontaneously combusts, killing Felix instantly.
3:31 thru 6:30 - James listens to headphones,
runs 2-Mile, trips again.
6:30 - Seeing his friends never showed up,
James is forced to take Sos, Szabo, and Paul Chun to concert.
7:30 - Concert declared Gay by Szabo, Sos is
bus raving/breakdancing with Paul and AzNs. James is deaf.
2 AM - Steve wakes up in body bag, concert
ends.
* April 26th was National Pants
Day, and during school, Jeff was decked
out in four pairs of pants.
** Baseball innuendo.
*** Daniel Szabo and Brandon Sos classify everything into
two categories, "gay" or "cool." If something isn't cool
for them, one of them snorts, "[X] is gay..." followed by the other
saying "Yea..."
**** Steve was (and still is ) in a Max Payne phase.